LOTR Parodies
by D. L. Sauron- AlmightyLOTRnerd
Summary: Just some little things I did for fun.
1. Orc Love Story

These are purely for the sake of dumb jokes and bad parodies. Nia is my OC Orc from "An Eternal Bond". She is the only one mentioned here that I own. I do not own LOTR. (I wish I did, though.)

"_**Orc Love Story" sung by Nia to Shagrat**_

_We were both young when I first saw you._

_I close my eyes and the flashback starts,_

_I'm standin' there_

_By a river in the summer air._

_I see the fire, see the dancing, the moon's out_

_I see you make your way through the crowd_

_And say hello._

_Little did I know_

_That you were Aragorn, you were throwin' pebbles_

_And my father said "Stay away from my Arwen."_

_And I was cryin' in the doorway_

_Beggin' you "Please don't go."_

_And I said_

_Shagrat, take me _

_Somewhere we can be alone,_

_I'll be waiting_

_All that's left to do is run_

_You'll be the prince_

_And I'll be the princess_

_It's a love story_

_Shagrat, just say yes._

_So I sneak out to the forest to see you._

_We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew_

_So close your eyes_

_Escape this world for a little while_

_Oh, oh, 'cause you were Aragorn and I was the One Ring_

_And my father said "Stay away from my Arwen"_

_But you were everything to me_

_I was beggin' you "Please don't go."_

_And I said_

_Shagrat, take me_

_Somewhere we can be alone_

_I'll be waiting_

_All that's left to do is run_

_You'll be the prince_

_And I'll be the princess_

_It's a love story_

_Shagrat, just say yes_

_Shagrat, save me_

_They're tryin' to tell me how to feel_

_This love is difficult_

_But it's re-eal_

_Don't be afraid_

_We'll make it out of this mess_

_It's a love story_

_Shagrat, just say yes_

_Well I got tired of waiting_

_Wondering if you were ever comin' again_

_My faith in you was fadin'_

_When I met you outside Sauron's land_

_And I said_

_Shagrat, save me_

_I've been feelin' so alone_

_I keep waiting_

_For you, but you never come_

_Is this in my head_

_I don't know what to think_

_You knelt to the ground_

_And pulled out a ring_

_And said_

_Marry me, Nia_

_You'll never have to be alone_

_I love you_

_And that's all I really know_

_I talked to your father_

_Go pick out a long dress_

_It's a love story_

_Nia, just say_

_Yes._

_Oh, oh, oh_

_Oh, oh, oh_

'_Cause we were both young_

_When I first saw you_


	2. You Belong With Me, Galadriel

Sauron has a secret crush! Ooh, "Sauron and Galadriel sittin' in a tree. K-I-s-s-I-n-g...you know the rest". I still don't own LOTR, by the way.

"**_You Belong With Me" sung by Sauron to Galadriel (the pretty blonde elf in the long white dress) as he watches her with the elf king of Lôrien. He has a crush on her, but hasn't told her yet. Sauron doesn't know it, but Galadriel has a crush on him, too_**

_You're on the palantir with your boyfriend_

_He's upset_

_He's going mad about somethin' that you said_

'_Cause he doesn't get your humor like I do._

_I'm in Barad-dûr, it's a typical Tuesday night_

_I'm dancin' to the kind of music he doesn't like_

_And he'll never know your story like I do_

_But he wears long robes_

_I wear armor_

_He's an elf king_

_And I'm just a Dark Lord_

_Who's dreamin' 'bout the day_

_When you'll wake up and find_

_That what you're lookin' for_

_Has been here the whole time_

_If you could see that I'm the one_

_Who understands you_

_Been here all along_

_So why can't you see-e-e_

_You belong with me-e-e_

_You belong with me_

_Walking the streets_

_With you and your dress and beads_

_I can't help thinkin' "This is how it ought to be"_

_Laughin' on a stone bench_

_Thinkin' to myself_

"_Hey, isn't this e-eazay"_

_And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town_

_I haven't seen it in a while since he brought you down_

_You say you're fine, I know you better than that_

_Hey, what you doing with a man like that_

_I have a big mace_

_He's got a silver sword_

_He's an elf king_

_And I'm just a Dark Lord_

_Who's dreamin' 'bout the day_

_When you'll wake up and find_

_That what you're lookin' for_

_Has been here the whole time_

_If you could see that I'm the one_

_Who understands you_

_Been here all along_

_So why can't you see-e-e_

_You belong with me-e-e-e_

_Standin' right here waiting_

_At your back door_

_All this time_

_How could you not know_

_My lady-y-y_

_You belong with me-e-e_

_You belong with me_

_Oh, I remember you_

_Ridin' to my tower_

_In the middle of the night_

_I'm the one who makes you laugh_

_When you know you're 'bout to cry_

_I know your favorite songs_

_And you tell me 'bout your dreams_

_I think I know where you belong_

_I think I know it's with me-e-e-e_

_Galadriel, can't you see that I'm the one_

_Who understands you_

_Been here all along_

_So why can't you see_

_You belong with me-e-e-e_

_Standin' right here waiting_

_At your back door_

_All this time_

_How could you not know_

_My lady-y-y_

_You belong with me-e-e_

_You belong with me_

_You belong with me_

_Have you ever thought just maybe-e-e_

_You belong with me-e-e_

_You belong with me_


	3. Elessar Superman

**First, let me just say that this one was a request from Foundation of Stone****. I DO NOT (and probably never will) like Aragorn at all (but I have to say, I'd rather face him than Justin Bieber. Eeeek.). for anyone who doesn't know, the song I parodied here is called "Superman" and is a bonus track on Taylor Swift's **_**Speak Now **_**album. For my purpose, I am calling it "Elessar", the name Aragorn is sometimes called by.**

**I STILL don't own LOTR. Or the song "Superman". On to the stupid parody.**

**I know, this one probably isn't as good as the first two, but hey****, I did the best I could. So here you go, read, review, pretend to shoot me with your accursed elven bows, yada, yada, yada. You know the drill.**

"**Elessar" sung by Eowyn to Aragorn, who is probably blowing her off. As usual. (exasperated sigh). Men, ya know. How does anyone live with 'em.**

_Tall, dark, and,_

_Elessar, he_

_Puts his sword on his saddle_

_And rides away_

_To fight evil_

_Or go to the king_

_It's the same thing to me_

_He's got the kindest eyes_

_So full of ambition_

_I wonder if he knows_

_How much that I miss him_

_I hang to every word you sa-a-ay_

_And you'll smile and say_

"_How are you?"_

_And I'll say "Just fine."_

_I always forget to tell you_

_I love you_

_I love you_

_Forever_

_I watch Elessar ride away_

_You've got a busy day today_

_To save Gondor_

_I'll be around_

_And I watch Elessar ride away_

_Come back,_

_I'll be with you someday_

_I'll be right here_

_In Rohan_

_When you come back again _

_Tall, dark, and_

_Beautiful, he's_

_Confident, he's_

_Irrational, but I hope_

_Someday he'll take me away_

_To save Rohan_

_Yea-e-eah_

_Somethin' in his deep_

_Blue eyes has me sayin'_

_He's not all cold like his_

_Reputation and I can't hear one_

_Single word they sa-a-ay_

_And you'll leave_

_Got places to be_

_And I'll be all right_

_I always forget to tell you_

_I love you_

_I've loved you _

_From the very first day_

_I watch Elessar ride away_

_You've got a busy day today_

_To save Gondor_

_I'll be around_

_And I watch Elessar ride away_

_Come back, _

_I'll be with you someday_

_I'll be right here_

_In Rohan_

_When you come back again_

_And I watch_

_You fight _

_To save the world_

_And I hope_

_You don't take some other girl_

_Don't forget, don't forget_

_About me_

_I'm far away, but I'll never let you go_

_I'm lovestruck_

_And lookin' out my window_

_Don't forget, don't forget_

_Where I'll be_

_Where I'll be wishin' the flowers_

_Were from you_

_Wishin' the letter _

_Was from you_

_Wishin the letter_

_Was from you_

'_Cause I've loved you _

_From the very first day_

_I watch Elessar ride away_

_You've got a busy day today_

_To save Gondor_

_Ill be around_

_Forever and ever_

_And I watch Elessar ride away_

_I swear_

_Ill be with you someday_

_I'll be right here_

_In Rohan_

_When you come back again_

_La, la_

_La, la, la, la, la-a_

_La, la, la_

_La, la, la_

_When you come back again _


	4. Sauron needs Something More

**Yes, it's another Sauron****-centric one. But the song is not by Taylor Swift this time. This time I did "Something More" by Sugarland**

**You should know by now that I don't own these songs or LOTR. 'Nuff said**

"**Something More" sung by Sauron, or rather, thought by him, as he's a giant flaming eye at the time he does this.**

_Monday_

_Hard to wake up_

_But my ring's still lost_

_So I gotta look_

_Yeah, Mordor_

_Ain't that much changed_

_It still looks the same_

_As it did last year_

_I'm running out of wraiths_

_And out of time_

_So why am I still stuck here_

_As an Eye_

_There's gotta be somethin' more_

_Gotta be more than this_

_I need a little less fightin'_

_I need a little more bliss_

_I'm gonna take my chances_

_Takin' the chance I might_

_Find what I'm lookin' _

_Fo-o-o-o-or_

_There's gotta be somethin' more_

_Over three thousand years_

_And there's no doubt_

_That I'm burnt out_

_I've had enough_

_So, now, Morgoth_

_Here's my two weeks_

_I'll make it short 'n' sweet_

_So listen up_

_Well, I could serve my life away_

_But why_

_I got things to do_

_Before I die_

_There's gotta be somethin' more_

_Gotta be more than this_

_I need a little less fightin'_

_I need a little more bliss_

_I'm gonna take my chances_

_Takin' the chance I might_

_Find what I'm lookin' _

_Fo-o-o-o-or_

_There's gotta be somethin' more_

_Some believe in destiny_

_And some believe in fate_

_But I believe that happiness _

_Is somethin' we create_

_And you'd best believe that_

_I'm not gonna wait_

'_Cause there's gotta be somethin' more_

_I settle down_

_The sun is setting_

_The tower's dirty_

_But it can wait_

_Yeah, 'cause right now_

_I need some down time_

_To rest my Great Eye_

_And celebrate_

_Yeah, the Valar could be knockin' _

_At my door_

_But I ain't gonna answer_

_That's for sure_

_There's gotta be somethin'_

_Gotta be somethin' more_

_Gotta be more than this_

_I need a little less fighting_

_I need a little more bliss_

_I'm gonna take my chances_

_Takin' the chance I might_

_Find what I'm lookin'_

_Fo-o-o-o-or_

_Gotta be somethin' mo-o-ore_

_Got to be, got to be_

_Got to be mo-o-o-ore_


	5. Sauron's Dirt Road Anthem

**At long last, another stupid LOTR parody! Yes, it's sung by Sauron (again) I can't help it, I love the guy. And I couldn't think of how to parody some of this song to fit another character very well. This is the first one I've done where the original song is by a male artist. Enjoy!**

**Original song : "Dirt Road Anthem" by Jason Aldean**

**I don't own this song or LOTR. I just own the dumb parody version.**

"**Sauron's Dirt Road Anthem" **

_Yeah, I'm chillin' on a dirt road_

_Leaned back, swirlin' like I'm Morgoth_

_Dust goin' up in billows_

_And a keg of ale in the wagon bed_

_Memory lane here in the moonlight_

_Has got me reminiscin' on the good times_

_I'm turnin' off the Real-Life road_

_That's right_

_I'm hittin' Easy Street _

_On muddy wheels_

_Back in the day, the Shire was the place to go_

_Load the wagon up, hit the dirt road_

_Jump the stone wall, spread the word_

_Light the bonfire and bring the girls_

_Hobbit's weed and hobbit's tea_

_Loads of food and some ale for me_

_Where you learned how to kiss_

_And curse and fight too_

_Better watch out for the hobbits in blue_

_And all this small town he-said-she-said_

_Ain't it funny how rumors spread_

_Like "I know somethin' you don't know"_

_Orc, that talk is gettin' old_

_You better mind your business, Man_

_Watch your mouth_

_Before my mace knocks that loud mouth out_

_I'm tired of talkin' orc, y'all ain't listenin'_

_Them old dirt roads is what y'all's missin'_

_I'm chillin' on a dirt road_

_Leaned back, swirlin' like I'm Morgoth_

_Dust goin' up in billows_

_And a keg of ale in the wagon bed_

_Memory lane here in the moonlight_

_Has got me reminiscin' on the good times_

_I'm turnin' off the Real-Life road_

_That's right_

_I'm hittin' Easy Street _

_On muddy wheels_

_I sit back and think about those good old days_

_The way we were raised in Aulé's ways_

_We liked our bread and biscuits_

_If it was broke 'round there, we fixed it_

_I can take y'all where you need to go_

_Down to my hood, out in Mordor_

_We do it different 'round here, that's right_

_But we sure do it good and we do it all night_

_So if you really wanna know how it feels_

_To get off the roads in carts with big wheels_

_Climb on in and tell your friends_

_We're raisin' Udûn where the stone road ends_

_I'm chillin' on a dirt road_

_Leaned back, swirlin' like I'm Morgoth_

_Dust goin' up in billows_

_And a keg of ale in the wagon bed_

_Memory lane here in the moonlight_

_Has got me reminiscin' on the good times_

_I'm turnin' off the Real-Life road_

_That's right_

_I'm hittin' Easy Street _

_On muddy wheels_

_Yeah, I'm chillin' on a dirt road_

_Leaned back, swirlin' like I'm Morgoth_

_Dust goin' up in billows_

_And a keg of ale in the wagon bed_

_Memory lane here in the moonlight_

_Has got me reminiscin' on the good times_

_I'm turnin' off the Real-Life road_

_That's right_

_I'm hittin' Easy Street _

_On muddy wheels_

**Okay, so not as good as the others, but please still review it. I am open to parody requests (no slash please) All I know by heart are country songs, so that's all I've used for these. I am currently working on "Middle-earth Saturday Night", a parody to Brad Paisley's "American Saturday Night" I still need to decide which character should sing it. I will take suggestions from reviewers, I will not, I repeat, WILLNOT use Legolas or Aragorn. I refuse to do that. Anyone else is fine. So yeah. R&R please! THX. :)**


	6. Middle Earth Saturday Night

**Alrighty, folks, this one's a bit more of a party song, so I decided to have it sung by…GIMLI! He strikes me as the party boy sort.**

**Original song: "American Saturday Night" by Brad Paisley**

**Parody content: from LOTR by J. R. R. Tolkien**

"**Middle-earth Saturday Night" by Gimli, son of Gloin**

_She's got Gondorian leather boots_

_On the floor of her hobbit cart_

_Listenin' to elves singin' "Back In the Grey Havens"_

_Yeah, she's goin' around Arda tonight_

_But she ain't leavin' here_

_She's just going to meet her dwarf friends_

_Down at the market square_

_And it's a hobbit kiss_

_Elvish wine_

_Ent trees in the moonlight, it's_

_Just another Middle-earth Saturday night_

_There' a big loud party tonight down at Isengard_

_They got mallorn trees in their courtyard_

_They got big kegs full of ale and sweet malt beer_

_It's like we're all livin' in a big ol' cup_

_Just get you a spoon_

_And stir it all up_

_It's a hobbit kiss_

_Elvish wine_

_Orc liquor in the moonlight, it's_

_Just another Middle-earth Saturday night_

_You know everywhere has something they're known for_

_Aw, but usually, it'll wind up sittin' at our doors_

_When my great-great-great-grandfather_

_Dug into this cliff_

_I'll bet he never ever dreamed we'd have all this_

_You know everywhere has something they're known for_

_Aw, but usually, it'll wind up sitting at our doors_

_With Lothlórien, and Moria_

_Sittin' there side by side_

_Live from Barad-dûr_

_(orcs and other races yell: IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!)_

_And it's a hobbit kiss_

_Elvish wine_

_Ent trees in the moonlight, it's_

_Just another Middle-earth_

_Just another Middle-earth, it's_

_Just another Middle-earth Saturday night_

**Whew! Made it through that one okay. I know, I always say it sucks, but wouldn't you agree? (Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question). Please read and review. Feel free to offer song and character suggestions (but no Legolas or Aragorn). And tell me what you think when someone says "Justin Bieber". I think, "EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW! HE SUCKS BUTT MONKEY!"**


	7. Picture to Literally Burn

**Hello again to anyone who still reads these dog-gone things. I'm back with another LOTR Parody request. This one goes out to Dizzydaydreamer. Hope you like it, Dizz.**

**LOTR-Tolkien**

"**Picture to Burn" original song-Taylor Swift**

**Stupid parody-D. L. Sauron**

**Picture to Burn sung by the Balrog to Glorfindel. This should be interesting.**

_To state the obvious_

_I didn't get my perfect fantasy_

_I realized you love some elleth_

_More than you could ever love me._

_So go and tell your friends_

_That I'm evil and a demon_

_That's fine, you won't mind if I say_

_By the way._

_I hate that stupid old_

_Longbow you never let me try_

_You're an elvish stuck-up_

_Who's really bad at lyin'_

_So watch me crack my whip_

_On all my wasted time_

_As far as I'm concerned, you're_

_Just another picture to burn_

_There's no time for tears_

_I'm just flamin' here_

_Plottin' my revenge_

_There's nothin' stoppin' me_

_From burnin' all Rivendell's trees_

_And if you come around_

_Sayin' sorry to me_

_Morgoth's gonna show ya_

_How sorry you'll be_

'_Cause I hate that stupid old_

_Longbow you never let me try_

_You're an elvish stuck-up_

_Who's really bad at lyin'_

_So watch me crack my whip_

_On all my wasted time_

_As far as I'm concerned, you're_

_Just another picture to burn_

_And if you're still wantin' me_

_You better keep it to yourself_

"_Cause comin' to Moria_

_Would be bad for your health_

'_Cause I hate that stupid old_

_Longbow you never let me try_

_You're an elvish stuck-up_

_Who's really bad at lyin'_

_So watch me crack my whip_

_On all my wasted time_

_In case you haven't heard_

_I really, really hate that stupid old_

_Longbow you never let me try_

_You're an elvish stuck-up_

_Who's really bad at lyin'_

_So watch me crack my whip_

_On all my wasted time_

_As far as I'm concerned, you're_

_Just another picture to burn_

_Just another picture to burn_

_Burn, burn, burn baby, burn_

_Just another picture to burn_

_Baby burn_

**Yeah, yeah, I know. Not my best work. Actually, it's probably my worst. But please R&R anyway. I'd love more requests. And if you review, tell me your favorite Disney movie (if you don't have one, tell me your favorite movie that's not LOTR) Mine Is Wall-E.**


	8. Pippin's getting nuttin' for Christmas

**Okay, I just HAD to do this one. I love Sugarland's version of this song and the lyrics just make something in my head scream "THAT'S PIPPIN TOOK!" So, yeah. My first Christmas parody.**

**Original song performed by Sugarland**

**LOTR by the wonderful Tolkien**

**Nuttin' for Christmas sung by Pippin**

_I stole some things out of Gandalf's cart  
_

_Somebody snitched on me.  
_

_I lit a firework in Bilbo's tent  
_

_Somebody snitched on me.  
_

_I lifted crops from Maggot's fields  
_

_I knocked my other friends down a hill  
_

_I lit a fire on Weathertop hill  
_

_Somebody snitched on me._

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

_Gandalf and Merry are mad.  
_

_I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas  
_

_'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad._

I knocked some armor down a well

_Somebody snitched on me_

_.  
I Got myself captured when Boromir fell_

_Somebody snitched on me._

_I called Treebeard a tree when we first met_

_Took the stone from Gandalf while he slept_

_I let Sauron know where we were at_

_Somebody snitched on me._

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

_Gandalf and Merry are mad._

_I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas_

_'Cause I can't be nuttin' but bad._

I won't be seeing old Santa Claus;

_Somebody snitched on me._

_He won't come visit me because_

_Somebody snitched on me._

_Next year I'll be going straight;_

_Next year I'll be good, just you wait_

_I'd start now, but it's too late;_

_Somebody snitched on me._

I'm gettin' nuttin', Nuttin'

_Gandalf and Merry are mad_

_I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas_

_'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad_

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

_Gandalf and Merry are mad_

_I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas_

_'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad_

_'Cause I can't be nuttin' but bad_

_'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad._

**Yeah, I know, not my best. But Pippin actually did do everything listed here. Now who would have known all this and snitched on him? Perhaps Sauron saw it with his all-seeing-eye and decided to be good, for once, and tell someone. Unfortunately, he STILL got a lump of coal. Poor Sauron.**

**Anyway, R&R and tell me your favorite Christmas song. Besides this one, I like "Where Are You, Christmas", "Carol of the Bells", and Taylor Swift's version of "Silent Night"**


	9. Lurtz is a Paparazzi

**Oh noes, it's another stupid LOTR parody. Ai Valar, how long has it been since I updated anything here? A LOOOONG time. But I'm back now, with the first one of these that is NOT a country song. This was originally an idea a friend and I had for a parody music video. Here the fighting Uruk-hai, led by Lurtz, have decided to ditch Saruman and go serve Sauron because he's awesome (you know he is) This is how Lurtz tries to get himself recruited.**

**LOTR belongs to the awesome genius that is Tolkien.**

**This song belongs to Lady Gaga (she's great)**

**The stupid parody is mine, blah blah, yadda yadda, disclaimer disclaimer**

"**Paparazzi" sung by Lurtz**

We are the orcs, comin' back from the war  
Left the wizard, it's true  
'Cause we'd rather serve you  
It so magical, we'd be so fantastical  
Leather and steel, white hand on the chest  
Wish it was a red eye  
Yeah, to fight for Mordor, we come ourselves  
Ready for those Men and Elves  
'Cause you know that Sauron, I

I'm your loyal orc, I'll follow you until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi  
My lord, there's no one more powerful, you know that I'll be  
Your papa, paparazzi  
Promise I'll be kind  
But I won't stop until your favor is mine  
Dark Lord, you'll be famous, chase you down until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi

I'll be the orc, there guardin' your throne  
Got your mace and your sword  
Yeah, cause you're my Dark Lord on the battlefield  
Thrills and rushes that I feel  
City is burnt, we fight and return  
My sword blade is red, and our enemies dead  
This don't have a price, serving you is paradise  
Cause you know that Sauron, I

I'm your loyal orc, I'll follow you until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi  
My lord, there's no one more powerful, you know that I'll be  
Your papa, paparazzi  
Promise I'll be kind  
But I won't stop until your favor is mine  
Dark Lord, you'll be famous, chase you down until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi

Real good, we fightin' the Men and Elves  
Slash, slash we can't restrain ourselves  
Don't stop for anyone  
We're evil but we still have fun

I'm your loyal orc, I'll follow you until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi  
My lord, there's no one more powerful, you know that I'll be  
Your papa, paparazzi  
Promise I'll be kind  
But I won't stop until your favor is mine  
Dark Lord, you'll be famous, chase you down until you recruit me  
Papa, paparazzi

**Boy, am I an expert at butchering songs or WHAT. But seriously, you can't tell me you didn't laugh at the mental image of Lurtz singing Lady Gaga. Anyway, read and review and tell me who, BESIDES LEGOLAS OR ARAGORN is your favorite in the movies.**


	10. Palantir

**Hey again. I'm back, and you know what that means. That's right, I have a new dumb parody to add to the list. I got this idea from hearing this song on Pandora RIGHT AFTER I sent EvaSirico a response to her review (You're awesome, Eva.) And I've always wanted to have Sauron sing Lady Gaga. This was originally going to be about Saruman, but I thought it would be funnier with Morgoth instead. Plus, singing Lady Gaga really loud annoys the crap out of Morgoth, so of course Sauron would do it just to be evil. And the palantir was basically the Middle-earth telephone.**

**You should know by now that I don't own the song or LOTR.**

**Original song: "Telephone" by Lady Gaga.**

**Parody: "Palantir" by Lord Sauron**

_Hello hello Morgoth you called? I can't hear a thing_

_I have got no service on the field you see you see_

_Wha-wha-what did you say huh? you're fadin' out on me_

_Sorry I cannot hear you I'm kinda busy_

_K-kinda busy_

_K-kinda busy_

_Sorry I cannot hear you_

_I'm kinda busy_

_Just a sec, there's some annoying elf I gotta slay_

_And I can't talk to you with a mace in my hand eh?_

_You should've made some plans with me, you knew that i was free_

_Now you won't stop calling for me, I'm kinda busy_

_Stop callin' stop callin' I don' wanna think anymore_

_I left my head and my heart back in Barad-dûr_

_Stop callin' stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore_

_I left my head and my heart back in Barad-dûr_

_Stop callin' out for me_

_(stop callin' out for me)_

_I'm busy_

_(i'm busy)_

_Stop callin' out for me_

_(stop calin' out for me)_

_Call all you want but there's no one here_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field with that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_Call all you want but there's no one here_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field with that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_And the way you holdin' up my stone_

_Won't make me come no faster_

_Get my cloak on faster_

_Leave my orcs no faster_

_I should've left my stone at home_

_'cause this is a disaster_

_Callin' like the Valar_

_Sorry I cannot answer_

_Not that I don't like you, but I'm kinda fighting_

_And I am sick and tired of your voice c-calling_

_Sometimes I feel like I live in a city of the Men_

_Tonight I'm not takin' no calls 'cause I'll be scheming_

_'cause I'll be scheming_

_'cause I'll be scheming_

_Tonight I'm not takin' no calls_

_'cause I'll be scheming_

_Stop callin' stop callin' I don' wanna think anymore_

_I left my head and my heart back in Barad-dûr_

_Stop callin' stop callin' I don't wanna talk anymore_

_I left my head and my heart back in Barad-dûr_

_Stop callin' out for me_

_(stop callin' out for me)_

_I'm busy_

_(i'm busy)_

_Stop callin' out for me_

_(stop calin' out for me)_

_Call all you want but there's no one here_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field with that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_Call all you want but there's no one here_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field with that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_My palantir m-m-my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field _

_With that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

_My palantir m-m-my palantir_

_'cause I'm out on the field_

_With that mace that I wield_

_And you're not gonna reach my palantir_

**Geesh, I bet this is the DUMBEST one of these I've done yet. Well, review anyway, leave any requests, and tell me what kind/s of music you like.**


	11. Fastest Horse Around

**Hey again at loooong last! I have a new parody addition and I'm working on another. This one's kinda weird in that the character never actually talks in LOTR. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned LOTR, Sauron and my favorite orcs would have happy endings. **

**Original Song: "Fastest Girl In Town" by Miranda Lambert.**

**Parody: "Fastest Horse Around" by Shadowfax.**

****_You got a hobbit_

_I need some fun_

_I got a hankerin' for bein' on the run_

_We'll hit the road_

_Don't wanna stay_

_We'll be in Gondor before the light of day_

_I'm feeling ready_

_You're feelin' tense_

_All your talk of Dark Lords ain't makin' any sense_

_You got a mission_

_I got the speed_

_I tell ya, Gandalf, this here horse is all you're gonna need_

_Don't you even try to slow me down_

_'Cause you're riding' on the fastest horse aro-ound_

_Ain't ya, mate, yeah_

_This trip is crazy_

_Legends and stories_

_Follow me around_

_Half those fools don't know what they're talkin' 'bout_

_I'll hang around_

_For a little while_

_But I leave 'em all with nothin' but a dust cloud and a smile_

_Don't you even try to slow me down_

_'Cause you're riding' on the fastest horse aro-ound_

_Ain't ya, mate, yeah_

_That Steward's crazy_

_I see the Nazgûl_

_We better run_

_They'll all be out here before this battle's done_

_Once it's all over_

_And they can't do no harm_

_You'll be in the West, but I won't be on a farm_

_Don't you even try to slow me down_

_'Cause you're riding' on the fastest horse aro-ound_

_Ain't ya, mate, yeah_

_Well, ya knew Sauron was crazy_

_Hey!_

_You got a hobbit_

_I need some fun_

_I got a hankerin' for bein' on the run_

__**And there you have it, D. L.'s first dumb parody in quite a while. Please R&R and I'm still open to requests,**


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